Friday, November 26, 2010

Oh the challenges...

Life is full of good and bad! But through everything we’re faced with challenges.
Recently I’ve been dealing with a lot.  At first I am not a very outgoing person, I keep my thoughts to myself (even though there are a ton), I am just quiet and observe. But after a while I warm up and really start talking and become very outgoing. I am also a person who doesn’t like to brag and bring up certain “amazing” things that happen. If the time is right and I’m in a more personal setting, like a one on one, I will bring up things like that but otherwise I don’t see it as appropriate. There really isn’t necessarily anything wrong with bringing them up I personally just do not like it. And when things like that happen in conversations I find myself wondering if it is a genuine, sincere comment. In this situation I am reminded of the story of the Pharisees. How proud and boastful they are. How they broadcast their prayers and are very showy with all of their achievements and “stuff”. In the story, God says that is not needed, and that prayer and thanksgiving should be in private and between you and the Lord. That story is just so real to me and is how I truly try to be. I think that is so important because I never want anyone to question my faith and sincere love for God. Since the relationship you have with God is the MOST important one, having it questioned would be a huge dis to your faith.
This is something I am having a struggle with right now. There are people in my life now and will be in my life for the rest of it that are like this. It is so hard for me to not question the genuineness of their faith and their motives. The time that they are in, in their life is one that they need acceptance. So I find myself thinking they are sucking up and using this as a way to bring them closer to the people they are forming bonds with. This puts me in a very tough situation, I am also trying to form bonds and when I am not like this I seem not social because I am not constantly talking and giving my thoughts and sharing my stories. And it is truly because I am NOT like this. I don’t like to do things like that in big groups because of how it comes across to me.  One on one or in a family dinner-time talk I have no problem talking about this or anything like that. But I mean what can you do. If people won’t pay attention to me, like me, enjoy my presence, then I can do nothing about that. I have the one in my life that loves me, enjoys me and pays attention to me. And I can say that I am being me, 100% me, if they do not like me for me then I would prefer them not like me.
Just remember in every situation to always be yourself and God will provide you with the bonds that you need to live life to the fullest.  Remember to always pay attention to everyone in your life. New people & old people give them all the same attention because you never know how someone will react or feel if you are ignoring them.  

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